Chasing Dreams.

It feels so long since I've wrote a really hopeful, happy post that if it were to be a colour it would be the brightest of yellows, and I think its safe to say between December 2017 and 2018 I took a metaphorical beating. I dealt with a lot. I felt like quitting as tears streamed down my face for 5 months. By August/September I questioned leaving my hard work and dreams behind and finding new ones, but I'm not a quitter. I don't give up. I just don't think its in my DNA.

Before my first birthday I was diagnosed with epilepsy, my body was resisting medication and having 40 seizures. I should've missed my childhood, but I walked and I talked (and didn't stop talking) and as I grew into an infant I danced and sung my heart out, I went to school and I climbed the climbing frame. 

As I grew into a child I progressed in my education, I proved even more people wrong. I loved to read and despite missing days/weeks/months of school I worked hard to defy the odds. Teenage me made it her mission to prove those who doubted me wrong. I got up no matter how many times they kicked me, when they tried to change me I pushed back, and it wasn't straightforward and it wasn't easy but I did it. I got my GCSE's which some people didn't expect it, I got my A-Levels and I got my degree.

So when you tell me I will never do something, or that you don't think I'm capable and I should probably just give in. When you try and tear me a part like a piece of material, you can be assured that I will do it, no matter what it takes. Even if that means starting again which is exactly what I will be doing.

I will be starting a new university course in August. I will be chasing the dream once more and when I graduate, knowing I've done my best and I have proved them wrong I will be beaming. Not because I care about what they think but because it will just serve as another reminder that anything is possible and people can only drag you down if they're already beneath you.

In August I'm getting a clean slate but I'll do my best to make sure its the best slate yet. So here's to 2019, chasing dreams and never, ever giving up even if it feels like the best option at the time.

Tag Tuesday: A-Z of things I love

So I decided to do the A-Z tag of things I love for 'Tag Tuesday'.

A.

Autumn, it is the perfect in between its not extremely hot or cold, the fashion is so good and versatile. I love seeing the leaves change colours and it means the countdown to Christmas begins.

B.

Burlesque, it gave me so much confidence this year.

C.

Carbs, I tried the ketogenic diet to see if it would help my epilepsy, I didn't last a week before I gave in.

D.
Disney, it just makes me happy, no matter how old I am.

E.
Elephants. I'm slightly obsessed with them.

F.
Food, just food in general, I don't have a favourite.

G.

Going out, whether its shopping or simply going for a walk or picnic, I love just being out, unless its raining or cold.

H.
Hope, I have had depression for 8 nearly 9 years now so when I have hope or days of happiness it feels so good.

I.

Imagination, it has no limitation, it goes on forever and I guess that makes me happier, it has resulted in so many of my traits or interest like reading, writing and things such as films etc.

J.
Jokes, especially inside ones, those always feel more special.

K.

L.
London, I've said it before but I don't feel as anxious there and it just makes me happy.

M.
Make-up, it allows me to be creative and helps me to feel better.

N.
Nuggets, at the moment I may be a little obsessed, I don't have a favourite food but whether I have the chance I will have nuggets (battered not bread crumbs).

O.

P.
Pintrest, all my boards are private but I have so many boards, it is so good for inspiration or useful tips.

Q.
Quitting, I've realised, even more so recently that its okay to let things or people go that don't make you happy. If they're toxic or generally make you feel crumby then its okay to let them go and quit.

R.
Reality TV, it might be cringe but certain shows make me feel more content with my life and appearance. Its easy to watch which is perfect when you've had a stressful day.

S.
Shopping, which probably is one of the reasons I love London, it also was something I took into consideration when applying for uni.

T.
Ted Baker, I have a slight obsession its okay though.

U.

Unicorns, I don't even think I need to explain this.

V.
Vacations, even if its just to the local beach I just love exploring, seeing more than my home town.

W.
World Buffets, what is better than being able to eat Chinese food, pizza, sushi and dessert all at the same time. 

X.
Xmas, okay technically it should be spelt with a C, but its the same word and I love it. The food, the shopping, the music, giving gifts to the people I love it always feels so magical.

Y.
YouTube, like pinterest it has pretty much everything. It also allowed me to find a community of people who are lovely and kind and a result of that is that I now have some more amazing friends.

Z.
Zoo's I love animals and I get just as excited as the children who are there do. Especially with the elephants.

I want Tag Tuesday to be a fun, easy, and just something that lets me forget the stresses of life for a little moment.