Chasing Dreams.

It feels so long since I've wrote a really hopeful, happy post that if it were to be a colour it would be the brightest of yellows, and I think its safe to say between December 2017 and 2018 I took a metaphorical beating. I dealt with a lot. I felt like quitting as tears streamed down my face for 5 months. By August/September I questioned leaving my hard work and dreams behind and finding new ones, but I'm not a quitter. I don't give up. I just don't think its in my DNA.

Before my first birthday I was diagnosed with epilepsy, my body was resisting medication and having 40 seizures. I should've missed my childhood, but I walked and I talked (and didn't stop talking) and as I grew into an infant I danced and sung my heart out, I went to school and I climbed the climbing frame. 

As I grew into a child I progressed in my education, I proved even more people wrong. I loved to read and despite missing days/weeks/months of school I worked hard to defy the odds. Teenage me made it her mission to prove those who doubted me wrong. I got up no matter how many times they kicked me, when they tried to change me I pushed back, and it wasn't straightforward and it wasn't easy but I did it. I got my GCSE's which some people didn't expect it, I got my A-Levels and I got my degree.

So when you tell me I will never do something, or that you don't think I'm capable and I should probably just give in. When you try and tear me a part like a piece of material, you can be assured that I will do it, no matter what it takes. Even if that means starting again which is exactly what I will be doing.

I will be starting a new university course in August. I will be chasing the dream once more and when I graduate, knowing I've done my best and I have proved them wrong I will be beaming. Not because I care about what they think but because it will just serve as another reminder that anything is possible and people can only drag you down if they're already beneath you.

In August I'm getting a clean slate but I'll do my best to make sure its the best slate yet. So here's to 2019, chasing dreams and never, ever giving up even if it feels like the best option at the time.