I had my final exam on Monday 6th June, my assignments have all been handed in. So far my grades are still higher than those I got in first year. Maybe its because I stressed less, I'm not sure how it works, this year I socialised more, went out more and still need to improve on my organisation, but something worked.
This year is 30% of my degree, so whilst my grades have improved it does not mean that I can just rely on those for my final grade.
Second year has been a weird one, I keep discovering new things or rediscovering old things about myself. I met some lovely people this year. I still have the same plan, certain elements or timings have changed once...okay maybe a couple of thousand times and nothing is set in really set in concrete.
I have learnt a few things;
- I am so determined to move to London, it is one of the main things I think about, I cannot express the amount of love I have for London.
- Its okay to be selfish, selfish doesn't have to be a bad thing, if my relationship with someone is toxic for me its okay to cut that off.
- I'm also very independent. I like living away from home, I love my family but I love my space, I love doing my own thing and living in my own space.
- I am restless, I don't think I can feel content for a long while, I just keep on dreaming and reaching for the next step.
- I feel happier, the depression can still come and take control.
I am not a fan of uncertainty, and second year has seen me face a lot of it, I have had scans, new treatment plans, as well as uni stuff like placement stuff. Second year really has managed to push me. Thankfully, I have managed to survive it.
There is still a lot more work that needs doing, and its not going to be easy but it will be worth it. It feels that I'm now in my twenties and I'm heading towards my final year of my degree at NTU. 4 years ago I was a mouthy, determined 16 year old who was ready to start her A-Levels, who wanted to go to NTU and be a student and get a degree. A lot has happened since then and yet it feels like only yesterday.
Its strange to think that in a few more years time I'll be a graduate looking back on now. Things could and probably will change all over again and hopefully I'll still be writing this blog (maybe more regularly, who knows miracles could happen).
I guess for now though the only thing I can do is hold tight, enjoy the ride, see what life brings and try and make it the best it can be.
